Impending Doom 3
by NightingaleLost
Summary: Finally, the truth comes out...the truth about Zim's "mission". How will Zim take it? What will he do? Where does Dib come in all of this? Well, whatever it is, it's nothin' a little blast 'em space 'n earth mission can't solve!


So, thought I'd try my hand at an Invader Zim fic. XDDDD God, I can't believe I'm doing this. But I love IZ! Anyway, this might be slow in updating, but whatever. To you who read my stuff, you already know I'm busy on Tension. But whatever! read, and enjoy, my pretties! Lol, this thing is so retarded. Please bear with me. Love my retarded alien child XD I hope I get the characters right...

**Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim**

Lol, this will not be ZADR, sorry. Maybe next time, though? Anyway, there's a secret little poke at Zim in the end, just a little joke for you guys that catch it. Can you find it? Right answers get faster updates!

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**Chapter One  
Revelations and Chocolate Icecream**

**(0)  
**

"-but it was easy to fix it." Zim's green face filled the screen, teeth bared in an arrogant grin. "Lately, my victories seem to be increasing in amount. My day of conquest is soon coming!"

"Uh huh." The Tallest, Red and Purple, stared uninterestedly at the height-challenged Irken. They lounged on the high-backed seats of their ship, the Massive, and looking completely bored.

Zim continued on his eager rant, his red eyes shining in lustful anticipation. "Yes, I can almost taste it! The day is quickly approaching when I will see the utter destruction of this _filthy_ stinkball! I, Invader ZIM, shall lead the Irken Armada through the flames of m-"

**zzzzzt!**

"Sirs, we've lost communication!" A soldier called out. Red and Purple sighed simultaneously.

"Finally."

**-On Earth...-**

"Argh! What happened?" Zim pounded on the buttons of the computer's console, eyes narrowed angrily. He paused.

"GIR!"

"Yes!" A robotic head popped out form behind the large screen, a stupid grin on its face. Zim scowled.

"What are you doing back there? And what did you do?"

Gir thought a minute, then held out a bundle of wires, laughing madly. "I was pickin' _colors_!"

Zim slapped a palm over his face, dragging gloved claws down the green skin and cursing the stupid taco-loving robot. "Urgh." He glanced at the big screen, sighing. "Well, at least I can still see them."

The Tallest were still clearly visible on there, but it seemed as though _they_ couldn't see or hear him. Oh well, he could fix that later. Zim suddenly heard his name come from the speakers, and his antennas perked up in interest. The Tallest were talking about him! Probably discussing how amazing he was. The alien turned up the volume. A little bit of eavesdropping wouldn't hurt, would it?

"-don't see why he's still doing this." The Tallest Purple was saying. Tallest Red growled irritably.

"You think he'd get the message by now, don't you? Phht, 'invader'?" Red scoffed. "Yeah right."

Zim frowned. Message? What message? And that better not have been an insult toward his invaderness! He shook his head. No, no he must have heard wrong. Gir must have done more damage than he thought.

"He's been there more than two years and still nothing?" Purple shook his head. "No Irken has ever taken this long to conquer a planet!"

"Hey!" Zim exclaimed. He would have conquered this planet a lot sooner f his glorious plans hadn't always been foiled by that stupid earth monkey, Dib! But he was so close now!

"Hmph, at least we don't have to personally deal with that midget." Red sighed.

Midget?

Purple nodded, sinking back into his plush seat. "We did good, sending him to some unknown part of space."

Red chuckled. "I'm surprised he even made it to a planet. I thought he'd fall into a black hole or something." They both laughed. "Who even knows what's in those parts? 'Secret mission'. Ha! At least we got rid if him!"

They slapped a very human-like high-five, their laughter echoing out from the speakers. Zim slowly turned off the communications screen, his thoughts puzzled.

They sent him to an unknown region to...'get rid of him'?

His thoughts whirled faster and suddenly realization slapped him hard in the face.

There was no secret mission. He'd been lied to.

This entire thing was false.

There was a moment of nothing in his mind before he actually understood it, and his antennas drooped miserably. His squeedly spooch didn't feel so good anymore... Zim turned, his back facing Gir, who was still behind the screen.

"Gir?"

"_Yessss?_" Gir sang, his face a mask of blissful happiness. The green alien made his way to the elevator, his voice both confused and depressed and his shoulders slumped.

"Don't...do not bother Zim today. I will be working on a new horrible plan for...for world domination."

The happy robot squealed, waving around the clump of wires still clutched in its robot hand. "Okaaaaaay!"

**-Dib...-**

There was a rustle of bushes, and a black-clothed figure leapt out from behind them, eyes darting around in an exaggerated display of alertness. So far, nothing. Dib crept up Zim's backyard, keeping his eyes peeled for any guarding gnomes. He reached the house uninterrupted, and he let himself grin.

It was just as he thought. That stupid alien didn't have any security in his backyard! Honestly, he didn't see why he'd never thought of this before.

But anyway! Back to his current mission. He was going to sneak into Zim's lab and steal a piece of his alien technology, to _prove_ he was an alien! And then, he would take that chance to put more cameras in the very heart of his secret base, so he could catch him doing all sorts of alien stuff! Then everyone would see what he was up to!

But first, the house.

Dib tried the back door, holding back giggles. Of course it was unlocked. He slipped inside carefully, trying not to make a sound. The dingy kitchen met his eyes and he tiptoed to the trashcan, opening the lid. Okay, time to go down there and-

He paused as a flickering light caught his attention. The television? Was someone there? Had they heard him Dib knew he should just head down to Zim's lab and get what he could, but his curiosity got the better of him and he sneaked over to the opposite wall, peeking in.

Zim was huddled on his couch, not even wearing his disguise and wrapped up in a large magenta blanket. His red eyes dully watched the television screen as he shoved a spoon into a large container with the Irken symbol on it, bringing it up to his mouth and moodily eating the bright purple contents. About a dozen more empty containers littered the round in front of the couch.

What in the world?

He leaned in a little father and his black ninja-like outfit made the tiniest if sounds as it scraped against the door's frame. The Irken's antennas twitched, and those red alien eyes turned in his direction. Dammit! Dib tensed, waiting for the classic, upcoming Zim-explosion.

Instead, the invader made an almost-interested-but-not-quite noise, turning back to look at the screen.

Okay...what?

Dib's mind raced. This had to be a trap! Some insidious plot from Zim to lower his guard and capture him when he wasn't looking! Well, he wasn't gonna fall for it!

He leapt in front of the television, pointing an accusing finger toward Zim.

"Alright, alien scum, just what are you planning? I won't be fooled by your tricks! I will stop you and prove that I've been right all along! I will stop you!"

Zim growled. "Get out of the way, Dib-stink. I'm not in the mood to deal with you today." Again, the alien swallowed more of the purple stuff.

Dib was confused. This definitely wasn't what he was expecting. The other didn't even sound angry or anything! He sounded almost...depressed.

No! It was a scam! A trick!

"You can't pull the wool over _my_ eyes, Zim! I'll find out what you're planning! You won't take over the earth as long as I'm around!"

"Be gone, Dib-thing." Zim was sounding a bit angry now. " I have no interest in your pathetic ramblings, and you're blocking the T.V.!"

The big-headed boy stared at him in bewilderment, then crossed his arms, a triumphant grin on his face. "You're scared of me. You've finally realized you'll never beat me, and now you're scared of me! Ha ha!" He suddenly laughed. "How's it feel to be beaten? Are you gonna give up and go crying back home?"

Zim snapped, his red eyes flashing as he shot up to his short height on the couch, throwing back the blanket.

"The mighty invader ZIM fears no one! Not your filthy, stupid, dirt-crawling earth-monkeys, and certainly not _you_!" He threw the container with surprising accuracy at Dib's head, and the human reeled back as it splattered over his face. "And the Tallest will rue the day Zim returns!"

Dib wiped the purple from his glasses, just in time to see a shiny PAK leg speeding toward him. He yelped. Oh my God, Zim was gonna stab him! Instead, it hooked onto his shirt, flinging him out of the living room window.

Still yelling, he shattered the glass, bouncing onto the grass outside and landed just barely outside the parameter of the fence. Zim's shrieking voice followed him out.

"Oh, how they will _all _RUE_-_!"

Dib sat up, stunned. What was that?

Something dripped off of his hair, distracting him, and he looked at it curiously. It was the purple stuff Zim had been eating. Hmm, could it be poisonous? He looked at it some more, then curiosity got the best of him; he wiped some off of his cheek, licking his fingers cautiously. His eyes widened.

It was delicious!

It wasn't cold on his skin or anything, but it turned that way as soon as it hit his tongue. It was cool and creamy and...and...amazing! Wow! He frowned a little. It was actually a little familiar. The taste, anyway. It was almost like...

...chocolate ice-cream?


End file.
